Behold, children are a gift of the LORD,

Behold, children are a gift of the LORD,

Friday, June 8, 2007

Have not wanted to blog about this but I need support!!!!

Okay so here goes! My oldest sons are twins and are 10 years old. ONe of them has been diagnosed bipolar and also ADHD. I know there is something going on with him as he has really highs and lows, like one minutes he will be bouncing off the walls and the next depressed and saying nobody likes him. The past month , well really two months, has been really trying with him!!! I don't know what is going on. I am wondering if his medicine is having a reverse reaction on him and making him more angry and aggitated. I made him a appt for MOnday but ya know how doctor;s are. I really would like to try some all natural stuff on him but don't really know how to do that and you know I cannot talk to his doctor about it cause he will just say he needs the meds. He has changed his meds, added meds, lowered them , up'd them all of that till now he is on three different kinds of meds and such. IT has just been so hard . Then my other problem is how to discipline him , he takes so much out of me! He can be the sweetest child then bring me to tears the next. He says constantly he is stupid , dumb, and nobody likes him although his dad and I have talked till we are blue in the face to him and told him otherwise. He sometimes just makes me feel like terrible mom and that I have done something and it is what I am doing to make him like this. I just wonder if all this has to do with him being so premature when he was a baby. I just really needed to talk and get this out,. WE have tried everything with him. Any suggestions,tips,supports,etc... would greatly be appreciated.

4 comments:

Kitty said...

Hi Tiffany,
I read this post last night and I have been thinking about what to answer. I know just how you feel, not wanting to blog about something but NEEDING to get it out and get some feedback. I have had a few tough REALLY tough issues come up with my kids over the years and when things are not right with your kids, you don't feel a moment's peace.

The main thing I will tell you, is that I will pray for you. And you should NOT feel like you're a terrible mom or you did this to him. All kids are different and some are just born way more difficult than others. Each of his diagnoses would be hard just individually, but together they must be a huge challenge. I think you should bring up the idea of trying natural remedies with the doctor. More and more they are accepting some alternative therapies and maybe can suggest some things to do in addition to the medications he's already on. It could be a really long process, as far as continually adjusting the meds until they are right. My parents worked with doctors for years trying to manage my brother's diabetes and I know it was really hard. Just keep going and don't give up!! Maybe consult with a couple more doctors and see if you get any new ideas?

I can imagine how draining the discipline is. I have an 8 year old boy that is constantly causing problems and he exhausts me, too. He says many of the same things your son is saying and it is devastating to hear stuff like that come out of your child's mouth. So I KNOW why you think it might be your fault some way. I feel that way too. But I just look at my other children who are well adjusted, to remind myself that it's something inside HIM that needs help. Not that I caused it, but that I AM going to have to be the one to help him fix it, but only with God's help. No other person understands or cares for our children as much as we moms do, even the difficult children that are HARD to understand. (Of course Dads do, too, and I am so glad your husband is so supportive, but I think we moms just instinctively understand our kids' hearts a little bit better, know what I mean?)

So with discipline, just keep at it and be consistent. Try to always be solution oriented. What can I do to change this behavior? What can I do to prevent this behavior?

One key thing, is he getting enough exercise? I have a 10 year old boy who, if he does not get 3-4 hours outside to run and play, will start to act like he has severe ADHD symptoms as well. But with plenty of exercise, he is able to focus, even though he has some learning issues. Since I was always such an indoor type, I thought an hour of playtime outside ought to be enough. But my mom, who raised several boys, finally convinced me that they need way more!! It's hard because we don't have a yard so I have to sit outside here at our apartments and watch them the whole time. (I bring something to do!!) But I PROMISE you, the improvement in all the kids' behavior, from the hyperactivity of the 10 year old, to the negativity & misbehavior of the 8 year old, has been worth it!!! Even when it's snowy outside!! :-) So that's one more thought.

Sorry this is so long. I don't know all you've tried so far, so these may or may not be new ideas, but I did want to encourage you. We have a few of the same issues, I think (all this going on, and tiny babies who need us, all at once, for one thing!!) So if you want to email me and talk about it more, it's ksisco1974@yahoo.com

Have a good weekend!!! :-)

Tonya said...

Hi! I came over from Jennifer's.

I would try a change in diet (cut out the processed and fake stuff - that will encompass a lot of foods we normally eat, sorry), a good consistant routine with lots to keep him productively busy, and try to get him off all meds. I am also a firm believer in less or no TV and video games when children seem to get overstimulated.

I don't know if any of that will help, but those are the things that came to mind!

Jane-Jane said...

doctors TYPICALLY do not encourage the natural methods of treatment. They have been schooled in the chemical world.

You may want to try a chiropractor or pharmacist that specializes in vitamins and herbs.

Do NOT mix the herbs and vitamin treatments with prescription treatments... that can be VERY bad with interactions, UNLESS you get all products from the same pharmacist.

I will be praying for you. This is an area that is VERY close to my heart, as I too have some very similar issues that I deal with in my 40 year old self! As I do research for my own health, I will pass info onto you.

I totally agree with Tonya.. sorry Kitty, my add got the best of me.
"clean" foods with out processing is soooo much better for my body. As an adult who has gone through periods of low chemicals, it REALLY makes a HUGE difference in my body, mind and soul.

I'm praying for you, sister!

Tia Lynn said...

Hey Tiffany. I don't think we have ever met, but I'm friends with Jennifer. I do not have children, and therefore usually make it a rule not to give advice about other people's children because childless people who give advice like that are annoying. :) The only reason I am sort of breaking that rule now is because my husband's sister is bi-polar. She is in her 40s now and wasn't diagnosed until she was 18 or 19. When she is on her medicine, you would never be able to tell anything is wrong, but when she goes off, it gets scary. But just because meds have helped her greatly, I'm not sure how meds will affect a 10 year old. She is a grown woman who has already gone through menapause (which they say women struggling with a bi-polar disorder tend to regulate more after menopause) also might have something to with it. I know the medicine vs. natural methods are controversial and ultimately you'll have to do what the Lord leads you to do. I'm praying for you and your precious son.