Behold, children are a gift of the LORD,

Behold, children are a gift of the LORD,

Friday, December 9, 2011

The Blessing of Nursing

I cannot believe our ninth child is already 6 weeks old today. We had many first this time around with him. Our first time having a homebirth, our first time not getting shots right away, and I think the biggest of it all our first time nursing!!!! At first I did not think I would be able to continue nursing. I write this post to encourage other moms who are even considering it. It has been a very beautiful yet trying experience but one I am so glad I have had the priviledge of knowing. IT is so nice to not have to worry about finding the right bottle that baby will like or changing formulas when it does not agree with him! While I support any moms decision on how she wants to feed her baby I now see why so many mom's are so supportive of nursing. It is so sweet to see my baby face when he is fully content from being full. While at first it was not easy and still makes me nervous having to think about doing it out in public even though I will definately have my nursing cover on I am so glad we decided to try it this time and fully see that it is what God intended! i am so in love with this newest bundle the Lord has blessed us with! And so very thankful he has blessed us in so many ways.

Friday, November 25, 2011

Vision Forum giveaway!!!!

This is a awsome giveaway and is a great place to get christian books. I have purchased several encouraging books from there in the past few months. Do not miss this awsome giveaway, go here to check it out.

Friday, November 11, 2011

Jericho Isaiah is here!

I am sure most of you know that our precious baby boy is here. He was born 10-28-11 at 10:57 weighing in at 7 pounds 10 ounces. He was born at home which was so peaceful and sweet! He looks like his daddy and is doing awsome. He is our ninth and the first one that I have breastfed. He took right to it and has done awsome. We have been so blessed with our children and I am realizing more and more how often I have took them for granted. First before I go any further I am going to post some pictures.
I think this has been the biggest adjustment for me in a while. NOt sure why baby number 9 would make any difference but he did and that is okay. God's grace is sufficient for all my needs. I have had to just rely on the Lord more and isn't that what it is all about anyway. Alot probably has to do with having 5 that are 4 and under, even sometimes my 8 yr old adds some hard times to it all, so maybe I should say 6 that are 8 and under. And then there are the pre-teen and teens I have in the house, that adds a WHOLE NEW LEVEL of difficulty as well. i would not trade it for the world though. I see all the negative comments about the Duggars and others with large families and I am saddened. The saddness is for many many reasons. The number one reason is the way our society looks at babies and children. another reason is people just do not realize what they are missing. Yes, it is hard work but having a large family teaches you so many things you might otherwise miss. IT always teaches your children many things. I see all the negative comments of how children in a large family have to raise their siblings. Man, I must of missed that memo and I am sure the Duggars would say the same thing. Yes, our children do have more responsibilities but in that they have also learned patience, unselfishness, love, and kindness. They have learned good work ethics and so much more. So what is so wrong with that. I have saw how their peers act and I am so glad we do not have to deal with that stuff. Don't get me wrong we do have to deal with things that come up like attitudes and things like that. Anyway, I am thankful to God for giving me each child he has. My grandmother came to see the baby today and the kids got excited and were running around the living room and I was just watching them and thought to myself most of them would not be here if I had not given everything over to the Lord. Man, what I would of missed. Each brings something into this family and hopefully one day bring blessings to our society. Even if they reach only one soul for Christ their time here on earth meant life for that one person!!! I hope my little arrows one day reach many souls! i hope to write more later but for now I have to do some laundry! Rejoice with us at the birth of our new blessing ,Jericho Isaiah

Monday, October 10, 2011

Yes, we are still alive

Only 4 more weeks to my due date!! I cannot believe it. Before we know it we will welcome into this world our 9th child. Trully a blessing from the Lord. I cannot wait for Jericho to be here. IT has been busy around here and I have also had days where I have not felt well so I don't know if there will be much blogging till after he is here. We are doing well, just wanted to let everyone know and we are so thankful for all the Lord has blessed us with. Let me know if you have a prayer request and our family will definately pray for you.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Single digit countdown

WE have 8 weeks or thereabouts before our new baby boy will arrive. So excited but just have some anxiety about some things. I am just gonna keep quoting to myself Phil.4:13~~~

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Out of selfishness the blessings we might miss

I was thinking about this a few days ago and even talked about it with the kids one night during bible study. We all too often want to take things in our hands and want to have control of everything. IT is just too hard to surrender our whole lives to the Lord right??? But if we did surrender our lives over to the Lord we will gain so much reward and blessings. NO, He did not promise us we would be free of trials and heartache but he did promise he would always be there with us.
"I will never leave you nor forsake you." Hebrews 13:5
I started thinking about how blessed we have been. My husband felt like he should quit his job about 4 years ago and work for himself so he would have time to be there for our family when he was needed. He really wanted to be at home more. What a blessing that was. He prayed and felt the Lord saying that was what he should do. HE quit and started his business off with his last little paycheck. The Lord has immensly blessed us with the business, we can pay our bills, provide what the kids need,etc... For so long we lived paycheck to paycheck and would bounce checks and never had enough money when he was working for someone else. Then shortly after that we totally gave our lives over to the Lord and that included our fertility. No, I will honestly say it was not a easy decision for either of us and still to this day is something we pray about. But the blessings we have gotten from giving our life over to him have been huge, we have had 3 more blessings with one on the way!! Our first blessing after that decision, Issac, just celebrated his 3rd birthday yesterday. I could not imagine my life without him or his 2 sisters that came after that. And we cannot wait to meet our new son in a couple of months. Last year the Lord blessed us with a house that would accomodate our family. And a couple of years before he blessed us with our 12 passenger van that we got a really good deal on. The van and the house pretty much just worked themselves out. God is good!!! The van we are quickly growing out of lol so we may need to start looking for a 15 passenger. Since also following the Lord my husband's health has gotten better, not to say he does not still have some things he battles but it is so much better. We have hit rough patches but we know the Lord is with us. I am so thankful for what the Lord has done in both our lives so that we may raise up godly men and women for Christ.Our marriage is strong and I am finally secure knowing my husband loves me. I strive to be a godly wife but many days I fail at the things I need to do. I continue to work on being the wife and mother God put me here to be. We also found a great church family that has the same beliefs as we do and am so amazed at the love and support there! I just hope we can reach people for Christ. I do not want to go through my daily life and never let others know what Christ can do for them and what HE DID DO for them. He will save you from the pits of hell, you can only be saved through Christ Jesus. NO other way. NOt by good deeds or "living right". Well guess I sort of got off on a different subject that I hope to write about later but I am so thankful for what Jesus has done in my life. God is soooooooo very good!

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Great morning encouragement for women

You can go back and listen to the ones you missed. Also the last two days will be put up soon. This mornings was exactly what I needed to hear.

Saturday, July 30, 2011

My book

My book is ready and ready for purchase. You can purchase one here

Very short book but it is really a long testimony of what the Lord has done in my life. A great book for a teenage daughter!

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Forgetting to Enjoy Life

The past few months I have felt like I have been walking in mud, I have been trying to rely on myself instead of relying on God. I have been just going through the days like a zombie just doing the things that needed to be done. But was I really? Was I forgetting to love on my little ones? Stop and take time with the Lord? Answer a older ones question? Love my husband? I am sad to say I was actually feeling self pity and feeling like the whole world was on my shoulders when in reality I have so many blessings!!!! I was letting the devil in!!! My how easy it happens and I did not really realize it till I was reading in the book I am reading on how to parent your teens and how easily the devil can take over their lives and they need to understand there is a predator out there just waiting for them. We have to have our guard up continually!!!! I am so glad that I realized what I was doing. I am trying to make sure I am being the wife,mother, and child of God I am suppose to be(not in that order). I want to do the will of the Lord and please him with the right kind of attitude. Life goes much more smoothly for me when I am not being selfish. I am so thankful for all the blessings in my life! I am so thankful to serve such a loving God and such a forgiving one. I am thankful I have such wonderful kids and such a wonderful husband that a lot of times overlook my imperfections.
I still have a lot of concerns in my life right now. I have twin teenage boys in the house, a almost teenage daughter, a emotional 8 yr old daughter, and 4 little ones 4 and under. I worry about the older ones hearts and where they are at. I worry about the little ones getting enough of me. And in all of this I worry that I am not being the wife to my wonderful husband because frankly some days I feel like there is nothing left of me. But I KNOW God's grace is sufficient for all our needs. We cannot do it alone and sometimes we just have to give it all to Him.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Help me win contest and in return you get to watch a awsome movie!!!!

This is a movie that our preacher gave all the families in our church for Christmas! It is a awsome movie. Watch it and leave me a comment on what you think about it.
For some reason it is not posting the link for me right now so just copy and paste

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Books I am reading right now

The Christian Woman's Guide to Childbirth ( wonderful read, even after 8 kids this book has been very benficial to me since we are doing our first homebirth)

Age of Opportunity A Biblical Guide to Parenting Teens by Paul David Tripp(great book about how we view parenting teens, must read if you have teens or soon to be teens)

Also going through the bible with the family during bible study each night. We are slowly going through Genesis, almost in Exodus.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011


First I want to start out by saying I guess most everyone now knows baby #9 is a boy!!! We are overjoyed and so excited. Cannot wait to meet our newest blessing in a little over 4 months. :)
Next thing is this has really been weighing on my mind. Why do people when they see someone with many children assume they getting government help, help from family,etc...? Could the Lord not be supplying what the family needs? I know I have to remind myself that some of these people do not have faith and therefore cannot understand how we can just leave everything to the Lord and trust in Him but some of these are christians. I just cannot understand for the life of my how you can live as a christian and not take the whole bible for what it says. Am I saying that all families should be like ours or look like ours if they are following the Lord. Absolutely not!!!!! I just think we all too often are ready to judge without first knowing even what we are talking about. And why do women feel the need to be so hateful about women who stay at home, obey their husbands, and follow the LOrd? Are they jelous? Perhaps but mostly I think it is that they are lost. We live in such a fallen world and I am so saddened by it. When our society is flavoring our sodas with HEK which stands from Human Embroyic Kindeys(from aborted babies) something is very wrong. Christians have got to start standing up. How have you become so silent. I admit it is easier to just sit back and hang my mouth open in awe but there come a point where we just have to stand up for those around us and for our beliefs. I did not mean to go off so much on this but it is something that is really bothering me. Yes, we have 9 children . Yes, we know other families with that many or more. Do we struggle? Sometimes. Do other families with 1 or 2 struggle? Yes, sometimes but there is where faith comes in. The Lord has given these children to us and His grace is sufficient for all our needs. I love my husband and if you think I am oppressed because I stay at home and obey my husband then so be it but I love my oppressed life then. I know many women are dealing with the hurt from how society treats them. Please drop me a line and let me know how I can pray for you.
On a brighter note I finally got to go with Billy to Alabama to visit with the family he has been helping after the tornadoes. WE knew nothing of this family before the storm but are so thankful and blessed to know them now. God is good and just. I am so thankful for my life and so thankful for all the blessings God has given me. I only hope with these blessings I can give back to others. I watched a sermon somewhere that says if you are doing okay financially or are well off it is not for your benefit but for you to be able to go out and help others. And if we all did that what a change we could make. I truly believe that and I so that in this selfish society my family can start seeing other peoples needs and help them and not just go about our busy lives. I know sometimes it is easy to get caught up in ourselves and our lives but there are so many hurting out there. I challenge you to step out of your comfort zone and reach out.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

A new blessing

i guess I really have not updated about this baby much, life is just so busy. WE are super excited to be expecting number 9 and we will be hopefully finding out what this little one is next Wendsday. I did not want to find out this time but Billy did so we are. I am super excited now to find out though. Baby seems to be doing well. I feel him/her every now and then, I love that feeling. Each baby is a total gift from God and I always long to see the face of our new blessing and wonder who they will look like. I love my children so much. NO, I do not always have sweet gushy feeling about my children but I do always remember what a blessing they are. And lately I have been trying my best to not take them for granted. Even when I am awake all night with our 8 month old or so it seems and am scared out of my mind because I am not sure how I am going to juggle another one I KNOW God is there and I KNOW God gave these beautiful children to me for a reason and they are all here for a reason. I find it hard to believe the excuses some women give for not having kids, most are quite selfish. NOw if that is your decision then that is your choice but I am sadden to know the things they will miss. NO, being a mother is not easy but it is the MOST REWARDING thing you will ever do. Far beyond that wonderful job, getting that fancy car or nice pair of earring. I am so glad that God gave me each and every one of my kids. I get so many comments when I am grocery shopping and many sadden me. IT is amazing to me how people view children these days. In this society we protect animals to the death but just throw away our babies, how insane is that!!!! I am not sure how I got off on this but I guess it just has been on my heart so much lately. Just know children are a gift and a heritage from the Lord. My only hope is that I raise up godly men and women for the Lord!!

Saturday, May 28, 2011


So my parents came and sat with the kids for a little while last night while Billy and I finally got to have some time together. It was really nice. We had a good supper and saved a ton of money!!! :)
We ate at Applebees and got a appetizer and two entrees with our drinks and paid $1 something because i had a $25 gift card from!!

Then we went shopping and scored some deals with coupons. Total for all that you see below we spend out of pocket was $43. We saved a ton of money. Just in formula here would of cost us like $200!!!! Then we go razors, Wisk, diapers, soap, and some pull ups wipes! So happy.

Then I got home and cashed in some of my reward points from pampers rewards and got two gift certificates so I scored two packs of diapers for $2 something, which would of been $0 but shipping was $4.99 so my money didn't cover it all. AND I got a really nice razor coming.

So we were pretty happy when we went to bed last night. I am so thankful God has brought me to this point of learning how to really use coupons so we can turn around and take care of our family and be self sufficent. Thank you Jesus for taking care of our family!!!

Thursday, May 26, 2011

YAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Great savings day

This morning I got TWO boxes of huggies wipes from for $12.72 shipped!!!!! I looked this morning while I was at Walmart and those same wipes at walmart cost $10!!!!! I am so happy because this is one item we go through alot of.

Then between WalMart and Ingles today I save over $100.00 with coupons. I got a lot of stockpile stuff like deoderant and body wash. I am so happy to be saving us so much money. I think we are gonna pay some bills off and just try to work on our stockpile. It is a bit time comsuming but so worth it for my family.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Don't miss the little things

I don't know how many moms are like me but I get so caught in MY TO DO list that I forget to "stop and smell the roses" so to speak. I get so caught up in keeping a clean house, homeschooling, some days just getting by ;) that I forget to stop for a minute. Well today I decided to stop for a minute and WATCH AND ENJOY my kids. And you know what I really miss so much. NO, I won't stop cleaning(mainly because I am a little OCD about a clean house) but I am promising to stop and answer my kids questions, play with them a bit, stop and hug and kiss them to pieces, stop and just watch them. Amazing the sweet things they do for each other. LIke a certain young little boy giving up his most loved blankie so his younger brother would feel secure going to sleep or when this younger brother made his younger sister fall he turned around and helped her up and gave her a big kiss. Trust me I know how busy the day can get but don't forget to "stop and smell the roses" and witness and take in all of God's goodness he has for us. :)

Monday, May 16, 2011

Being a christian does not always mean happiness

When many talk about being christians they talk about the joy they get from it. But I think we need to remember that life will NOT always be all happiness and free from sorrow. Don't get me wrong being a christian and being in love with Jesus is very joyful and sometimes so joyous it is overwhelming. But as christians sometime we will have to experience sorrow but in those times we can also find joy, we can also see God in it. I often wonder how non believers make it through life changing things, how in the world do they cope without that hope and knowledge that you are not along. That one day we will be free from sorrow and in a place where there is no pain. After all this with the destruction in Alabama, a dear christian friend dealing with the heartache of being pregnant with a child they know will not survive and is not normal like the rest of her children, after a aquantance suffering a miscarriage, and on and on I am reminded that God did NOT promise us life would be easy. But He DID promise He would be with us, carry us. In Matthew 11:28-30 it says "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” I have been amazed at the faith of these people I have seen go through heartbreaking tragedy. I know in all of this they will have a testimony that lives will be saved and people will be changed. Their suffering is NOT for nothing. And all they go through they do because we DO live in such a fallen world. My prayer is for everyone who reads this to remember why we are here. WE are all too often selfish(me included) and do not give God the time we should each day. He should aquire glory and honor in every part of our lives.No matter what happens in our lives God is God! He doesn't change. I want to leave you with this also: Remember love like you never loved before because you never know when this day will be your last.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Coupon Walmart trip!!!!

Guess how much I paid of this stuff!!!! I know the most avid couponer can do a lot better but I am pretty proud and needless to say my kids were too. I paid $.20, nope that is no typo. I paid 20 cents. God is sooooo good!!! :) After ringing up my coupons the girl that was checking out just stared at me. IT was soooo funny. So yep the best thing of all is it had 3 things of formula.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Helping Families in Alabama

Recently my husband and other young men and boys from our church went to Alabama to help some families clean up and he said it was very life changing. He said pictures and video just do not do it justice. I am so glad we were spared from all of that and very very thankful. Made me realize just how much I do take for granted. I will post some pictures from their trip but here is a link where you can help these families, please pass this link on. God bless each and every one of you that reads this and if you or your family was affected by the tornado please let us know.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Animals taking over

LOL!!!! Well when we first moved into our new home almost a year ago we brought with us a dog,Jake and our laying hens(we had maybe 15 or so). Now we have those PLUS the older boys and dh brought home a puppy the other day, we just got a beta fish, we have like 15 more chickens, 3 hogs, and 2 ducks. NOW they are talking about getting a cow. WOW I always wanted to be like LIttle House on the Prairie but not sure how much lol. We are expecting our 9th child as well so as you can imagine we have a busy busy house. :) Wouldn't have it any other way. Oh and I also babysit a awsome littleboy a few days a week.

Friday, April 15, 2011


We have super busy lately. As I posted before we are expecting number 9. Went to my first midwife appt. Wendsday. My due date is NOv. 8th. Saw baby on ultrasound and everything looked good. Baby had good heartbeat and was moving all around. But we got some news about our hospital. They do not do VBACS anymore. I delivered at this hospital only 6 1/2 months ago and had my 6th VBAC! But they will not do them anymore. So...... my options are find another hospital and another doctor/midwife(and we loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeee the midwife we use) or homebirth. And really there are not very many hospitals around here anymore that are VBAC friendly which just blows my mind since the new research out now is that it is safer to VBAC than to just do another c section. So... we have this decision to make. I did try to talk my husband into homebirthing last time but he was totally against it but left with the choice like this this is what we are leaning towards. NOw that it is a possiblity I am feeled with so many emotions about it and am very nervous. Hopefully after getting some questions answered I will feel better.
My sister delivered a healthy baby girl MOnday of this week. We were so happy to welcome her into the world. She has 3 boys who are great but it is nice to finally have a niece.
I have so much I want to do in homeschooling the kids but it seems I never get to it. I just get the must do stuff done. Maybe we can do them soon but I dunno. Things just are so busy around here but maybe they will be a bit calmer the next couple of weeks.
Thinking about the busy times of my life though alot of it has to do with my children and I am so thankful I have each and every one and that God gave them to me. We are very excited to welcome this new one into our family. While we are sort of pushing for a boy with God , another girl would be just as good! :) A healthy baby is what we want.
I am so glad to finally say also that I think we have finally found a church home. It really feels like home and we get so much love and encouragement from everyone there. Life is never easy but I do believe God sends people into our lives to help us endure those trying times and I am so thankful for that. Well I think I better go, baby is ready to have some mommy time.

Thursday, March 3, 2011


Just thought I would share we are expecting number 9!!!! :) God is good and He has blessed us so much.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Writing a book!!!

In the process of writing and publishing a book, cannot wait to have it finished. I thought I was ready for it to be published but have some work to do on it. Cannot wait till it is done. It is a testimony of my life. God is good and I so want to shout it from the roof tops. I was such a wretch and he turned my life into something so beautiful!

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Not much to blog about

Haven't really blogged lately because really haven't had anything that has came to me that I wanted to blog about. We are doing well just busy. But busy is good. God didn't place us here to do nothing all day. My busy is busy being a mama and wife so I am happy with that. I am reading Large Family Logistics: The Art and Science of Managing the Large Family. It has been pretty good so far and has reminded me of things like teaching good work ethic is so vitally important in raising kids. Not to be demanding but to make them mind and do their work to the best of their ability. I am also writing a book and hope to get it published soon. Just about my life and all I have went through to be the person I am today. Who am I today? Well first and foremost I am a woman who loves Jesus!! I am a wife and a mother. What more can I say.
Just wanted to let everyone know I am still alive and well. The Lord has graciously kept us well lately with all the other sickness floating around us. Thanks be to God for that!

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Monthly Menu Plan

Here is our monthly menu plan . I just put our main meal and for supper I just add fruits, vegetables and sometimes some sort of bread like yeast rolls or bisquits. Lunch we will have stuff like fruit , crackers, sometimes chips. those sorts of things. Sundays we eat every sunday after church with our church family so we bring something each sunday. Haven't figured those meals out yet.

1st-lunch-ramen noodles supper-country fried steak with gravy
2nd-lunch-pizza supper-veggietable soup
3rd-lunch-sandwhiches supper-spaghetti
4th-lunch-hot dogs supper-salad with grilled chicken in it with yeast rolls
5th-lunch-tortillas supper-roast
6th-church lunch-? supper-Hamburgers
7th-lunch-tuna sandwhiches supper-tenderloin on rolls with bbq sauce
8th-lunch-chicken nuggets supper-chicken, cheese, and rice
9th-lunch-spaghetti o's supper-deer cubed steak
10th-lunch-sandwhiches supper-deer roast with carrots and potatoes
11th-lunch-eat out supper-potato soup with cheese sandwhiches
12th-lunch-chicken strips supper-taco's
13th-church lunch-? supper-pork chops
14th-lunch-chicken salad sandwhiches supper-fish supper with grilled salmon,hushpuppies and rolls. maybe a salad
15th-lunch-ravioli supper-Ham,green beans,corn,?
16th-lunch-sandwhiches supper-homemade pizzas
17th- lunch-pizza rolls supper-steak with yeast rolls
18th-lunch-chicken nuggets supper-tator tot casserole
19th-lunch-sandwhiches or bbq supper-a big breakfast
20th-church lunch ? supper-veggietable soup
21st-lunch-subs supper-homemade chicken noodle soup
22nd-lunch-pizza supper fried chicken
23rd-lunch-spaghetti o's supper-stir fry with chicken and veggies
24th- lunch-corn dogs supper-BBQ chicken
25th-lunch-eat out supper-roast
26th- lunch-burritoes supper-ribs,salad,rolls
27th-church lunch? supper-subs
28th-lunch-chicken strips supper-tenderloin

I make our own breads for the most part and homemade soups and such. hoping to post recipe's soon!! Hoping to also post our daily schedule we follow.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Not much blogging lately

I just have not had much time lately but I am hoping to get up our daily schedule soon and Febuary's menu plan.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

My Testimony

I grew up in a christian home all my life. My mother and father were together, I never had to suffer through the divorce of my parents or anything like that. I had a great childhood, one I am so thankful for. I went to church every Sunday with my parents and most Wendsdays. I knew Jesus died on the cross for my sins, I knew the stories you always hear in church like David and Goliath and Jonah and the Whale. I accepted the Lord in my life when I was young , probably 7 or 8. A wonderful preacher and family friend, Vel Hightower baptized me. Was I ready? Now looking back probably not.
When I hit the sixth grade I started hanging around the wrong crowd of people. The spiral started then but it went slowly. By the eighth grade I was so far away from the Lord. I started dating (being boyfriend/girlfriend) with the definate wrong guy. My parents were strict and we were not allowed to be alone but we found ways. I was sneaky and defiant. By the eighth grade I was drinking and having sex. I am so ashamed of my past but I know God has washed all those sins away. By the time I was 16 I became pregnant. Growing up like I did I thought the only thing right to do was to get married. I ended up having twin sons and being married to a very cruel person. He was never faithful and very abusive. I ended up getting pregnant again at the age of 18 while on birth control. At this point I cried out to the Lord and asked why!! Why did you allow me to go through this life. Was I being punished for my sins? After this point in my life and with the birth of my daughter , my third child I decided divorce was my only option since my husband was living with someone else and his abuse was only worse. He didn't want me which was very hard for me because I was at the point I was at because I had been searching for someone to love me. I could not understand why since I grew up in such a wonderful home I needed to feel loved, that I needed to belong. I know NOW that I was trying to fill a void that only the Lord could fill. I continued going back and forth with my ex putting my poor precious children through so much! I KNOW the Lord was with us during all of this time because I was not living a good life at all. One episode of abuse got so bad that I just knew it was the end of my life. After that was a turning point for me, not really in a good way but the point where I said I did not want to be controlled by this guy anymore and that if he killed me it was better than letting him live my life for me. So, I started partying very hard, leaving my precious children for my parents to take care of. Which so breaks my heart. Having said that I met my now husband on Febuary 10th, 2001. My life would never be the same after that.
The Lord has done so much in my life since that day of meeting my husband. For years I did not live exactly right after we got married. After suffering a miscarriage in 2001 I knew I had to change my life , we would go through spells of doing good but then I also hung around the wrong people still and was not strong in my faith. After the birth of our daughter together in 2003 my husband started a small change as well as I did. With the adoption of my 3 older children by my husband caused a bigger change in my life because I prayed so hard for it to happen without any incident and it did. But the biggest change came for me when I joined a online board called Christian Moms of Many Blessings. Amazing what God uses to wake us up. I also know my sister, brother in law, and parents had prayed so hard for me. I started talking to my husband about leaving everything to the Lord in 2007 and he was still unsure and still wrestling with somethings. But I remember not the exact date but in the year 2007 I truly gave my life to the Lord. I said okay Lord whatever you want me to do , I will. Just let me know. I asked him to please forgive me for all the wrong I had done. I started reading books, the bible, and talking with christian ladies. When my husband came back from a mens retreat with my brother in law was the total turning point in our marriage. He had always been a wonderful father and husband but he then tried so hard to be a godly husband and also said we should follow the Lord in all things.
From that year on I have done so much growing. I am still a sinner but God's grace is sufficent. I am trying to do what the Lord wants me to do. I can finally say the void in me is filled, not with people or things but only the Lord could fill that void. I am so blessed by the prayers that many said for me. I am amazed the more I grow in the Lord the more I see He was with me all those years during my suffering and I know it was not in vain but it was for a reason. To draw me to him and for me to be the person I am today. Thank you Jesus for that. The Lord has blessed me with a godly husband and so far 8 beautiful blessings. I only hope I can teach them and train them in the Lord so when they grow older they will not depart from the Truth. I only hope when I make it to heaven I hear my Savior say Well done my child.