The past few months I have felt like I have been walking in mud, I have been trying to rely on myself instead of relying on God. I have been just going through the days like a zombie just doing the things that needed to be done. But was I really? Was I forgetting to love on my little ones? Stop and take time with the Lord? Answer a older ones question? Love my husband? I am sad to say I was actually feeling self pity and feeling like the whole world was on my shoulders when in reality I have so many blessings!!!! I was letting the devil in!!! My how easy it happens and I did not really realize it till I was reading in the book I am reading on how to parent your teens and how easily the devil can take over their lives and they need to understand there is a predator out there just waiting for them. We have to have our guard up continually!!!! I am so glad that I realized what I was doing. I am trying to make sure I am being the wife,mother, and child of God I am suppose to be(not in that order). I want to do the will of the Lord and please him with the right kind of attitude. Life goes much more smoothly for me when I am not being selfish. I am so thankful for all the blessings in my life! I am so thankful to serve such a loving God and such a forgiving one. I am thankful I have such wonderful kids and such a wonderful husband that a lot of times overlook my imperfections.
I still have a lot of concerns in my life right now. I have twin teenage boys in the house, a almost teenage daughter, a emotional 8 yr old daughter, and 4 little ones 4 and under. I worry about the older ones hearts and where they are at. I worry about the little ones getting enough of me. And in all of this I worry that I am not being the wife to my wonderful husband because frankly some days I feel like there is nothing left of me. But I KNOW God's grace is sufficient for all our needs. We cannot do it alone and sometimes we just have to give it all to Him.