Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Giving our fertility to the Lord
I hope this post is not a bunch a babble and comes out the way I want it to. Recently my husband and I have decided to leave our fertility to the Lord. While this is not a common choice these days I believe this is the way God intended. I have come a long way from the person I used to be. Let me back up. I will try to make a very long story short. When I was 16 I got pregnant with twins. My parents had raised me in a christian home, the were Sunday school teachers as I was growing up and my daddy a deacon in our church. I was raised in church but got caught up in trying to fit in. I married that father of the twins(big mistake). He was very abusive. Somehow I got pregnant with the twins were only 13 months old with my daughter. God knows why and I could not imagine my life without my daughter now but back then I just could not understand it. I was in a very abusive relationship. I will not get into all I went through cause frankly my family reads this and it would just be too heartbreaking/. But skip a few years, I had divorced my 3 children's father even though I really never believed in divorce but I DO NOT and still do NOt belive to this day God would of wanted me to stay in that relationship. I do however belive all of that I went through was for a reason. Anyway, after all that in 2001 I was getting very wild. So far from God and my beliefs. I was at a club and met my now husband. We were both going down very wrong roads. I belive that God put us there that night and meant for us to met. Anyhow , we married 2 weeks after meeting each other. Crazy I know and my family had to be thinking I had totally lost my mind. But he is the greatest person ! He and I have been through so very much together and made it through only stronger. We have went through alot with my ex at the beginning, my husband adopting my 3 children, a miscarriage which was just heartbreaking, complications from that miscarriage, terrible sickness with my husband,etc... Anyway, in 2003 we finally had our first child together and then in 2007 had another child. I was going to get my tubes tied with our last child and then something just kept pulling at my heart strings so we both decided it was not the thing to do. Then after our son was born my husband was suppose to get a vasectomy but just never went and did it. Then when our son was only a few months I felt a strong conviction from the Lord about birth control. I read up on it and found out horrible things about early abortions and on and on. We talked about it and I got off birth control. Then we were using other forms if you get what I mean but I still did not feel that was right so we talked about it but my husband was not so sure so we still used that form. Then after that we were gonna use NFP . During this time my husband went on a mens retreat with my bil's church. He came back a totally different man,. Still not sure where the man that left that day is. LOL AFter that we decided to give everything to the Lord. Our fertility and everything. I felt such a peace when my husband felt the same way. While this is the not the popular road or the easiest road this we feel is what God designed for women and men, man and wife to live like. WE are now expecting our 6th child due the first of September. I do not know what the Lord has in store for us but through his strength we can get through anything.