Taking Things for Granted

First I want to start this post out by saying I do not like to really be a open book contrary to what many people think. BUT I think it is important because you never know who you will be helping or who is going through the exact same thing at the exact same time. God uses people for many different reasons. God is much bigger than people give Him credit for. This post is kind of hard for me to write, not really sure why. I feel it is important to write though. The house is quite, little ones are asleep and everyone else is busy doing other things. I have so many emotions going through me right now. I will get to that. But I just first want to say we really take things for granted in our lives. At least I do. I take for granted my family. My wonderful sweet family. I take for granted sometimes I think that life will continue on even though I know things could change in a second, we are not promised the next second much less tomorrow. I think sometimes I have taken for granted the Lord choosing us to have so many kids. Thus the reason for this post. I have had a confusing,tiresome, sad week. Also in the midst of all of it have had a wonderful week with my family which included a fun time for my family at a birthday party last night. Not many knew I had so much going on in my head while I was there but God did. He knows every struggle we have. I was talking with a friend today about somethings and while speaking to her about how God sometimes allows us to feel a void in our lives or a emptyness so we will rely on him I realized that while He might of used me to help her with what she was feeling in turn it will always causing me to discover somethings. To let you in on what has went on , Tuesday I played volleyball a bit with the young people in our church and afterwards felt really bad. Could not figure it out, Wendsday I felt the same way and was nauseated,etc... I started thinking well could I be pregnant again(even though I am still nursing sweet Jericho and have not had a visit from my "friend"), so I took a test really quick before getting into the bathtub that night and to my total surprise it was positive. I was in disbelief so I took another and it took was a light but totally positive test. So... after my bath i took my oldest daughter aside and told her and told her we would have to think of a sweet way to tell her daddy the next day. That morning I took two more test that came up positive. So we already had to go to the grocery store so I bought some things to make our little man a big brother onesie and we came home. Just for security I took another test and to my disbelief it was negative. I told my daughter we would have to hold off on doing the onesie because I was not sure what was going on. I just thought that maybe I was really early on and it was not showing up. But every test since then has been negative, I started really hurting Friday morning but I needed to go to Anderson and when I came back I took another test which was negative by middle of the day I was hurting really bad and just not feeling well. We went to the birthday party and when we came home I was really nauseated. Today is Saturday and I have had a rough day, not feeling well at all and just hurting. Up until a few minutes ago I was just confused as to what was going on, I had 4 positive pregnancy test but have had many negatives. But a few minutes ago I started spotting so obviously I am having a early miscarriage and while most people it would not bother it does me. I have so many feelings that I am not even going to get into but God's grace is enough and he has blessed me beyond what I deserve. I am blessed with a wonderful husband . I just have really been thinking how we just take things for granted. I held my sweet Jericho a little closer tonight before putting him to bed! I hope you do your kids as well! But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 2 Cor. 12:9