Being Beautifully Broken

  As I sat doing my bible study this morning my soul was at peace. This has been a rough year. Maybe a rough several years but God. God is teaching me so much through it . A lot of times I do not hear Him because I am so busy. And maybe, okay most certainly , some of the busyness is junk. Social media is a big #1 so for now Facebook is deactivated and deleted from my phone. (Which is super hard for me because I do most of my Scentsy selling from there.)


  My soul has been so heavy laden. I have been tired, y'all ( yes I am from GA where we say y'all.) Not the physical tired we usually think of. I guess physically I have been tired also since I gave birth to our 13th child almost eight months ago and had some pretty serious events take place with that. (You can read about that in several previous posts).  But mostly I have been broken hearted, soul crushing tired. Sometimes God breaks us , sometimes He has to so that He can get our attention.


  I see God doing such a work in my life. And the lives of my husband ( which I pray for daily) and my children (which I also pray for daily).  I am so grateful for the peace I felt this morning. It was raining and nasty outside but The Son shone brightly for me this morning. I can see why things have gotten so chaotic for me. I have been so busy that I have spent time with my precious Lord ONLY when I could fit it in. No wonder I have felt so lost!!!!! I do not take the time during the day to just breathe. To soak up the sound of my babies laughing , older ones talking , birds chirping outside. I have been letting it all fly by.


  I am thankful for the work the Lord is doing in me and my family. I could do without the pain, heartache, soul crushing tiredness, and feelings of being lost but if that is what it takes then break me , Lord!! He has lifted me up from the bottom of the pit and rained so much grace down on me. He has never given up on me. Not for one second. Even when I have wanted to give up on myself. I ask that everyone reading this take a look at your life. What can you cut out? What hinders your relationship with you family.  What most importantly hinders your precious time with God?


 I would ask that you pray for me. I need to work through a lot of emotions that I have not yet processed but I know God has big plans for my family. And that He isn't done with me just yet!!!!