Okay so I've heard this many times before. I don't go to church or want to be a part of christianity because all I ever see is hypocrisy. Let me fill you in on a secret. Christians are human. I know, crazy huh!?!
This is the reason we NEED God. The past few years have been rough for my husband and I. And recently I've dealt with depression, anger, resentment, and probably every other feeling there is out there. Does that make me a hypocrite because I tell others to not worry, be slow to anger, quick to forgive,etc.? Absolutely not! It means my need for Jesus is that much more! It means I can reach out to others because I learn from my mistakes. The verses in the Bible are God's word and for christian and non christian. Jesus realized the need for direction even for believers.
Our church plays a video often about different people asking different questions and such about church. One person makes the statement church is just filled with hypocrites. The answer? And there's room for one more. Let me tell you another secret. Ready? There has never been a perfect person on earth except for JESUS. SO, how about it? Those that have used that excuse time and time again. How about you come try our church or any church for that matter. At our church you will find imperfect people who absolutely love Jesus. When I take off that pressure of trying to be that perfect christian I find so much more pure joy in my Lord and Savior. And if someone wants to call me a hypocrite I am fine with that because through Jesus I am made perfect (even my hypocrisy;) ).
Behold, children are a gift of the LORD,
Thursday, April 25, 2019
Friday, April 19, 2019
Monday, April 8, 2019
Why Our Society Deals With So Much Depression
While I know each case of depression is different and each person has different reasons I think many times so much depression boils down to one thing! That is PRIDE! Pride I have come to realize is the root of many problems especially for mothers. While someone is dealing with depression you'd think pride would be something they never dealt with but I believe that is not true.
Take the mom in our society for an example. Every step she makes in our society is wrong in someones eyes. If she didn't have her child natural she was not strong enough, if she bottle feeds her child won't be as healthy, then there is the argument over vaccines and carseats and it goes on and on. So then you have mothers who get so down on themselves because they aren't the perfect parent! We want everyone to think we have it all together and when the ball drops and we can't keep up our perfect lives we get down on ourselves!
This goes for dads as well. He is supposed to work hard and provide. If he works too much he is a workaholic. If he spends more time with his family and less at work he is lazy. If he has a hobby he is neglecting his family. If he doesn't have a male hobby he is feminine. And on and on. He is supposed to keep it together and never talk about his feelings. So he doesn't. Why? Because of pride!! Doesn't want anyone to know he can't keep up or that he isn't perfect.
Same for us as christians! We do not ask for help or even ask for prayer. Especially with the things we struggle with. We come to church on Sundays sit at church and act like everything is ok. Even when we are dying inside! Why!?! Pride! We can't let others know we struggle. They might question our faith. We can't let them know our imperfections, about our bad habits, that our kids aren't perfect , etc...
As a society why do we run ourselves ragged. It all in my opinion goes back to pride. We gotta have the best things, our kids have to be in every sport, we have to do this and be this way. It's so much pressure and so therefore we get depressed. Depression runs rampant in our society. Many people you think are the happiest cry behind closed doors. We need to quit thinking everything has to be perfect. When your friend says they are ok ask if they really are.
We need to slow down and put God first! Jesus was the only one who walked the earth that was perfect. When you put pride away, humility abounds and you live a much more productive and full life. If you're struggling don't worry what others think. Speak up! God is the one who matters! Most importantly when you're struggling cry out to Jesus. He cares for you far more than we ever deserve.
While I'm finishing this blog post I want to share a story of mine of how pride and not being good enough got in the way of something I love. I love to write! I can best get across my feelings and also get through hurt in writing. I used to blog a lot but stopped. Wanna know why? Yep, you guessed it! Pride! I always thought my writing was good enough until a reader of my blog said some unkind things about how I blog. I was hurt and offended. Many times when I'm blogging my kids are running around screaming and I have a million things on my mind so my grammar isn't always the best, my thoughts are jumbled, I have run on sentences, etc.., So I stopped blogging. I was prideful even though I didnt see it that way! Recently, I was asked why i have stopped and I didn't tell the truth. Just said not enough time. This person said my blog used to help them so much. I immediately felt horrible. I stopped doing something the Lord gifted me with because i wasnt perfect. I am praying hard about this in my life. I'm asking God to help me with everything not being perfect. So, do you struggle with depression? Do you think this type of pride plays a part in it?
Take the mom in our society for an example. Every step she makes in our society is wrong in someones eyes. If she didn't have her child natural she was not strong enough, if she bottle feeds her child won't be as healthy, then there is the argument over vaccines and carseats and it goes on and on. So then you have mothers who get so down on themselves because they aren't the perfect parent! We want everyone to think we have it all together and when the ball drops and we can't keep up our perfect lives we get down on ourselves!
This goes for dads as well. He is supposed to work hard and provide. If he works too much he is a workaholic. If he spends more time with his family and less at work he is lazy. If he has a hobby he is neglecting his family. If he doesn't have a male hobby he is feminine. And on and on. He is supposed to keep it together and never talk about his feelings. So he doesn't. Why? Because of pride!! Doesn't want anyone to know he can't keep up or that he isn't perfect.
Same for us as christians! We do not ask for help or even ask for prayer. Especially with the things we struggle with. We come to church on Sundays sit at church and act like everything is ok. Even when we are dying inside! Why!?! Pride! We can't let others know we struggle. They might question our faith. We can't let them know our imperfections, about our bad habits, that our kids aren't perfect , etc...
As a society why do we run ourselves ragged. It all in my opinion goes back to pride. We gotta have the best things, our kids have to be in every sport, we have to do this and be this way. It's so much pressure and so therefore we get depressed. Depression runs rampant in our society. Many people you think are the happiest cry behind closed doors. We need to quit thinking everything has to be perfect. When your friend says they are ok ask if they really are.
We need to slow down and put God first! Jesus was the only one who walked the earth that was perfect. When you put pride away, humility abounds and you live a much more productive and full life. If you're struggling don't worry what others think. Speak up! God is the one who matters! Most importantly when you're struggling cry out to Jesus. He cares for you far more than we ever deserve.
While I'm finishing this blog post I want to share a story of mine of how pride and not being good enough got in the way of something I love. I love to write! I can best get across my feelings and also get through hurt in writing. I used to blog a lot but stopped. Wanna know why? Yep, you guessed it! Pride! I always thought my writing was good enough until a reader of my blog said some unkind things about how I blog. I was hurt and offended. Many times when I'm blogging my kids are running around screaming and I have a million things on my mind so my grammar isn't always the best, my thoughts are jumbled, I have run on sentences, etc.., So I stopped blogging. I was prideful even though I didnt see it that way! Recently, I was asked why i have stopped and I didn't tell the truth. Just said not enough time. This person said my blog used to help them so much. I immediately felt horrible. I stopped doing something the Lord gifted me with because i wasnt perfect. I am praying hard about this in my life. I'm asking God to help me with everything not being perfect. So, do you struggle with depression? Do you think this type of pride plays a part in it?
Wednesday, April 3, 2019
The Last Baby
Wow, I never thought I would know when it was the last baby. I always planned for it to be when God decided to close my womb. But about a week ago my husband got a vasectomy. For some I know that will be a huge shock. Okay, sometimes when I think about it is a huge shock to me too. Never thought we would do that. But life has this way of making you look back and say never say never. Easton's birth and recovery have been traumatic to say the least. And my husband felt peace with the Lord that we were done. Ask me what I feel and I am not sure. I've been told by more than one doctor if I happened to have another baby I probably wouldn't make it. So, that being said I wanna be here for my blessings that are here! For my husband. For my parents. I want to be here to fulfill God's call in my life.
So, why blog about this? Well I do my best thinking and getting things off my chest through writing. Its therapy to me. I have been through so much the past month. I need to process it all. And I am slowly. It is hard I won't lie to you. I am not one to sugar coat things or make out like things are all wonderful. But I will be ok!!! I will!! Because I have a family who loves me, a husband who is amazing, and a God that has my back.
But to think this is my last baby. I prayed to God during my whole pregnancy that if this was my last that it would be a wonderfully easy and peaceful homebirth. It was exact opposite of that. I have to trust God had a reason for that. I do still believe God answers prayers. Just maybe not exactly what we would like. But I do know God wants good and not harm to come to His people. When I get mad about how my birth turned out or that I will not birth anymore babies I remind myself that God saved Easton and me during that delivery. And He was with me again during my postpartum preeclampsia when I could of very well had a seizure or stroke. For that I am grateful, thankful, and blessed!!!
To my last baby ! Easton, I am so thankful God let me be your mommy. That goes for all my kids. I am so richly blessed. But Easton I apologize if I hold you a bit longer . If I just stare at you a bit longer. If I cringe a little when people say you're getting so big. I look forward to seeing you grow and become who God made you to be but it's also bittersweet. It will be hard to see my last baby grow but I look forward to seeing what God has in store for Billy and I and our family. Easton you completed us!
To my family, I'm sorry for all we have been through this past month. Especially to my husband! I know God had his reasons. Please be patient with me. It is a hard thought to realize I will never grow another human inside me. That moment you go through all that work but then see that tiny little miracle. It is priceless.
I know this was all jumbled up and such but that is how my brain is right now. So much to process.
Romans 8:28
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
So, why blog about this? Well I do my best thinking and getting things off my chest through writing. Its therapy to me. I have been through so much the past month. I need to process it all. And I am slowly. It is hard I won't lie to you. I am not one to sugar coat things or make out like things are all wonderful. But I will be ok!!! I will!! Because I have a family who loves me, a husband who is amazing, and a God that has my back.
But to think this is my last baby. I prayed to God during my whole pregnancy that if this was my last that it would be a wonderfully easy and peaceful homebirth. It was exact opposite of that. I have to trust God had a reason for that. I do still believe God answers prayers. Just maybe not exactly what we would like. But I do know God wants good and not harm to come to His people. When I get mad about how my birth turned out or that I will not birth anymore babies I remind myself that God saved Easton and me during that delivery. And He was with me again during my postpartum preeclampsia when I could of very well had a seizure or stroke. For that I am grateful, thankful, and blessed!!!
To my last baby ! Easton, I am so thankful God let me be your mommy. That goes for all my kids. I am so richly blessed. But Easton I apologize if I hold you a bit longer . If I just stare at you a bit longer. If I cringe a little when people say you're getting so big. I look forward to seeing you grow and become who God made you to be but it's also bittersweet. It will be hard to see my last baby grow but I look forward to seeing what God has in store for Billy and I and our family. Easton you completed us!
To my family, I'm sorry for all we have been through this past month. Especially to my husband! I know God had his reasons. Please be patient with me. It is a hard thought to realize I will never grow another human inside me. That moment you go through all that work but then see that tiny little miracle. It is priceless.
I know this was all jumbled up and such but that is how my brain is right now. So much to process.
Romans 8:28
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
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