Finding Joy in the Chaos

This year I really want to focus on being thankful and joyful. I want my children to see me happy more than stressed, happy more than angry, and if they see tears I want them to be tears of joy. Yes, I know being a christian we face trials but some of them we bring on ourselves. My problem is trying to be perfect. I am really trying this year to just LET Go and Let God take the wheel. These past few weeks I have been trying to get organized, we started a new diet, AND have been doing our taxes so it has been a bit crazy . I have to MAKE myself take time to read to my little ones or hold the 2 yr old. Just because she can walk and is pretty independent does not mean she does not want some mommy time. I want to stop and watch my children smile, I want to not only watch them dance around but to dance with them. These years pass by so fast and in these brief years I want to make them count. Not every day is chaotic but every day there is a part of the day that is and I can either decide to let that dictate how I feel that day or just pray and move through it and remember all the blessings God has given us and just find the joy in everything. IF I didn't have the fights to break up then that would mean I didn't have these precious children. IF I didn't have menus to plan or clothes to wash that would mean I would not have my precious family. So for anyone who reads this I also challenge you to find JOY in EVERYTHING. It makes a difference in the way your whole outlook on things are. I have really been working on this and hope by the end of this year I will be the wife and mother that I really want to be.

How selfishness sneaks in

The other day was a super busy day for me . I had so much to do and everyone wanting me to do something for them. I got to thinking nobody every thanks me for anything I do, does anyone notice. I got kind of angry when I started thinking of my husband and all the credit he gets for his work he does( I know very bad thing but that is how sin creeps in). The devil was really working on me and for that few minutes I let him. And then I got to thinking about all the rewards that I do get and also what I was put on earth for. I am not put here for my pleasure but to be a soldier for the Lord. I am raising up arrows to be able to hopefully one day shoot out and be a light in this world, to be children who love the Lord so much and want to shout it from the roof tops. I was put here to be a wife, a HELPMEET to my husband. A helper, not someone who stands out and gets praised for what she does. My reward will be in heaven and my reward is that I do have a husband who loves me and takes care of me and our wonderful blessings from above. I quickly changed my attitude from anger to joy. Joy at all the Lord has given me. Who cares if nobody ever thanks me. But then later in a small voice I heard one of my little boys say thank you for reading to him. Wonderful words especially at that moment. YOu can NOT tell me God does not hear us and does not give us what we need at the very moments we need it.
This society is filled with such selfishness that I hear so many women say (including yours truly) that I just need my me time. Just on a christian radio station yesterday I heard the anouncer lady talking about how glad she is her children went back to school just so she could have some me time. That made me sad. We miss so much when we want our "me time". One of my resolutions for this year is to read to my children every day. I started it and you would not believe the difference in their behavior and how happy they are to have their mama for those few minutes. Time goes so fast we need to take time with those precious little ones the Lord has given to us. We are never promised tommorrow and never promised we will have those children another minute. I just really felt the need to address this because I just hear it more and more. Yes, it is harder to stay home with my kids than to send them off and have some time for myself but then I get to thinking about it and I think I disagree. It would be extremely hard for me to send the kids off now, I love them to be at home with me. I know what they are learning, seeing, hearing, and who is teaching it to them. NO life is not always easy but the Lord never promised us it would be easy. It was not easy for Jesus to take up that cross for us and die so that we may live. I also hope in this new year I will remember not to be selfish and not let the devil have anger to use against me, I want to replace it all with JOY!