We Need To Pray for Our Husbands

   So this morning I was looking for something to send to my husband to encourage him. He has been super tired. I think part of it is his health, work load, and responsibilities. (And a small part his hobby but he won't admit that.) But as I was looking for something to encourage him I noticed something. Everything I saw said encouragement for the tired mother or encouragement for the woman in today's society. Or something along those lines. What about our men. When did they start being forgotten. Was in when women wanted all the same "advantages" as men? When the women's rights movement started? When our culture started being told women can do everything a man can do? I am not sure when it is started but I believe it started to be the downfall for our family. We forgot about our men, their feelings, their place in our family. I have watched families , even those in the christian circles and the men are kind of forgotten. I do NOT want that to happen in my family. I do NOT believe women are intended to do what a man does. In certain circumstances a woman has to fill the role of both parents but in some instances there are dads that have to do the same.


   Ladies, we need to pray for our men. We need to build them up. The Lord is showing me I have been failing in that. Yes, I pray for my husband and try to encourage him but do I truly see how much encouragement he needs. If a male is truly filling the role in the family as God intended that is a lot of weight to carry. Our men were never meant to carry it alone. I do not dare wish I was in my husband's shoes! He has to be provider, protector, head of the house, daddy, husband, etc... I would not want the responsibilities he has. He owns his own business and has so many people to answer to and mind you many think he serves them only. My point is we have to step up as ladies and quit letting our men fall to the sidelines. I believe in the power of prayer. I have seen it time and time again in my own husband.


  Times are tough! Life is tough! While yes there is a tiredness to motherhood men will never understand and being a wife and mother is super stressful. Especially for me because I want everything perfect and everyone happy and I had to realize that is not always going to be the case. But I think instead of the war on women the media likes to portray in our culture there is a terrible war on men. Just watch t.v. ! It won't take long to see how men are portrayed. So ladies even if you are not married pray for our men because many are trying and are tired. Pray for your brothers, your fathers, your friends, and your future spouses. Ladies if you are married would you join me in storming the gates of heaven for our husbands! And to my own husband! I see you. I see you trying and pushing. Trying to provide everything for our family. Trying to be the leader of our home as God intended. And I am so so thankful for you! I am praying for you and am here for you whatever you need. You got this, babe!

Those hypocrite christians

   Okay so I've heard this many times before. I don't go to church or want to be a part of christianity because all I ever see is hypocrisy.  Let me fill you in on a secret. Christians are human. I know, crazy huh!?!

    This is the reason we NEED God. The past few years have been rough for my husband and I. And recently I've dealt with depression, anger, resentment, and probably every other feeling there is out there. Does that make me a hypocrite because I tell others to not worry, be slow to anger, quick to forgive,etc.? Absolutely not! It means my need for Jesus is that much more! It means I can reach out to others because I learn from my mistakes. The verses in the Bible are God's word and for christian and non christian. Jesus realized the need for direction even for believers.

    Our church plays a video often about different people asking different questions and such about church. One person makes the statement church is just filled with hypocrites. The answer? And there's room for one more. Let me tell you another secret. Ready? There has never been a perfect person on earth except for JESUS. SO, how about it? Those that have used that excuse time and time again. How about you come try our church or any church for that matter. At our church you will find imperfect people who absolutely love Jesus. When I take off that pressure of trying to be that perfect christian I find so much more pure joy in my Lord and Savior. And if someone wants to call me a hypocrite I am fine with that because through Jesus I am made perfect (even my hypocrisy;)  ).

It's Friday but Sunday is Coming!

Why Our Society Deals With So Much Depression

  While I know each case of depression is different and each person has different reasons I think many times so much depression boils down to one thing! That is PRIDE! Pride I have come to realize is the root of many problems especially for mothers. While someone is dealing with depression you'd think pride would be something they never dealt with but I believe that is not true.

    Take the mom in our society for an example. Every step she makes in our society is wrong in someones eyes. If she didn't have her child natural she was not strong enough, if she bottle feeds her child won't be as healthy, then there is the argument over vaccines and carseats and it goes on and on. So then you have mothers who get so down on themselves because they aren't the perfect parent! We want everyone to think we have it all together and when the ball drops and we can't keep up our perfect lives we get down on ourselves!

    This goes for dads as well. He is supposed to work hard and provide. If he works too much he is a workaholic.  If he spends more time with his family and less at work he is lazy. If he has a hobby he is neglecting his family. If he doesn't have a male hobby he is feminine. And on and on. He is supposed to keep it together and never talk about his feelings. So he doesn't. Why? Because of pride!! Doesn't want anyone to know he can't keep up or that he isn't perfect.

     Same for us as christians! We do not ask for help or even ask for prayer. Especially with the things we struggle with. We come to church on Sundays sit at church and act like everything is ok. Even when we are dying inside! Why!?! Pride! We can't let others know we struggle. They might question our faith. We can't let them know our imperfections,  about our bad habits, that our kids aren't perfect , etc...

    As a society why do we run ourselves ragged. It all in my opinion goes back to pride. We gotta have the best things, our kids have to be in every sport, we have to do this and be this way. It's so much pressure and so therefore we get depressed. Depression runs rampant in our society. Many people you think are the happiest cry behind closed doors. We need to quit thinking everything has to be perfect. When your friend says they are ok ask if they really are.

   We need to slow down and put God first! Jesus was the only one who walked the earth that was perfect. When you put pride away, humility abounds and you live a much more productive and full life. If you're struggling don't worry what others think. Speak up! God is the one who matters! Most importantly when you're struggling cry out to Jesus. He cares for you far more than we ever deserve.

  While I'm finishing this blog post I want to share a story of mine of how pride and not being good enough got in the way of something I love. I love to write! I can best get across my feelings and also get through hurt in writing. I used to blog a lot but stopped. Wanna know why? Yep, you guessed it! Pride! I always thought my writing was good enough until a reader of my blog said some unkind things about how I blog. I was hurt and offended. Many times when I'm blogging my kids are running around screaming and I have a million things on my mind so my grammar isn't always the best, my thoughts are jumbled, I have run on sentences, etc.., So I stopped blogging. I was prideful even though I didnt see it that way! Recently, I was asked why i have stopped and I didn't tell the truth. Just said not enough time. This person said my blog used to help them so much. I immediately felt horrible. I stopped doing something the Lord gifted me with because i wasnt perfect. I am praying hard about this in my life. I'm asking God to help me with everything not being perfect. So, do you struggle with depression? Do you think this type of pride plays a part in it?

The Last Baby

  Wow, I never thought I would know when it was the last baby. I always planned for it to be when God decided to close my womb. But about a week ago my husband got a vasectomy. For some I know that will be a huge shock. Okay, sometimes when I think about it is a huge shock to me too. Never thought we would do that. But life has this way of making you look back and say never say never. Easton's birth and recovery have been traumatic to say the least. And my husband felt peace with the Lord that we were done. Ask me what I feel and I am not sure. I've been told by more than one doctor if I happened to have another baby I probably wouldn't make it. So, that being said I wanna be here for my blessings that are here! For my husband. For my parents. I want to be here to fulfill God's call in my life.

      So, why blog about this? Well I do my best thinking and getting things off my chest through writing. Its therapy to me. I have been through so much the past month. I need to process it all. And I am slowly. It is hard I won't lie to you. I am not one to sugar coat things or make out like things are all wonderful. But I will be ok!!! I will!! Because I have a family who loves me, a husband who is amazing, and a God that has my back.

    But to think this is my last baby. I prayed to God during my whole pregnancy that if this was my last that it would be a wonderfully easy and peaceful homebirth. It was exact opposite of that. I have to trust God had a reason for that. I do still believe God answers prayers.  Just maybe not exactly what we would like. But I do know God wants good and not harm to come to His people. When I get mad about how my birth turned out or that I will not birth anymore babies I remind myself that God saved Easton and me during that delivery. And He was with me again during my postpartum preeclampsia when I could of very well had a seizure or stroke. For that I am grateful,  thankful, and blessed!!!

   To my last baby ! Easton, I am so thankful God let me be your mommy. That goes for all my kids. I am so richly blessed. But Easton I apologize if I hold you a bit longer . If I just stare at you a bit longer. If I cringe a little when people say you're getting so big. I look forward to seeing you grow and become who God made you to be but it's also bittersweet. It will be hard to see my last baby grow but I look forward to seeing what God has in store for Billy and I and our family. Easton you completed us!

    To my family, I'm sorry for all we have been through this past month. Especially to my husband! I know God had his reasons. Please be patient with me. It is a hard thought to realize I will never grow another human inside me. That moment you go through all that work but then see that tiny little miracle. It is priceless.

  I know this was all jumbled up and such but that is how my brain is right now. So much to process.

Romans 8:28
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
 

My story of postpartum preeclampsia

   So.... I left off with Easton's birth story with us at home recovering from a pretty traumatic birth. When I wrote that last post I had no idea what I was going to go through.

     I had a check up with my midwife since it had been a week since we had been out of the hospital. I think that was a Wendsday or a Thursday. Honestly, the past 3 weeks have been a blur. But she came for her visit and when she checked my blood pressure it was a tad high( especially for me). So she called the hospital where I delivered and the ob on call basically said it wasn't high enough to be too concerned and we should just watch it. So that's what we did.
       Friday my son who is married came over to finally get to see the baby because he had been sick. I wasn't really feeling too good and my blood pressure kept going up which is so odd for me. My normal is like 90/60 or thereabouts. Finally my husband just told me to go to bed that I probably was just tired and needed sleep. When we laid down my legs started tingling and getting numb. It scared me so I got up and went to the bathroom and when I was coming out of the bathroom everything on my body got numb and I just saw black. I told my husband to call 911. It was such a scary feeling! One that I never want to feel again. That 9-12 minutes it took for the ambulance to get here seemed like hours. My blood pressure was 188/116. We were taken to a local hospital where we spent over 5 hours( all night) and really didn't get any help. We were sent home at 5 am.

    My husband had a prior commitment at our church for something our church does so he just stayed up when we got home and had my son's fiance come stay with me while he went and took our boys. I was fine for a while but then I started feeling bad again and my blood pressure was going back up. So to make a long story a bit shorter my midwife called the hospital where I delivered and talked with them and they told me to go straight there by ambulance. An hour and a half by ambulance is a long ride. When we did arrive there I had to go through the er so went through the same thing I had at the other er. We found out later they wanted me to go through er because they didn't know I already had a ct of my head.

   I finally was admitted. My incision was infected,  I had a uti, and the postpartum preeclampsia.  They started magnesium which I had to be on 24 hours. It makes you feel yucky, kind of like you have the flu. I had did pretty well while on it but when I was almost done my blood pressure went back up. My sweet nurse from when I had Easton was there visiting with me right at that time. She finally got me on the right road. I know God definitely put her in our path. Blood pressure meds were started. Also discovered probable postpartum depression so working on that as well. So a few more days in the hospital and then I got to go back home! It was so hard being in the hospital away from Easton but there was no way I could've taken care of him with how I felt and Billy had not sleep.
 
     Since being home we've had a couple scares but I think it was just my medicine hadn't gotten fully in my system. The last few days I've done much better each day. Praying so much it continues! Still don't feel like myself , still have some things going on like heart racing some and fingers tingling but I think my body is trying to just process everything and then the meds. After I do get better I've got a lot to process but for now I just try not to think of any of it. I thank God I made it through a placental abruption,  c section,  postpartum preeclampsia,  etc... So thankful for the sweet people that have come along side me and my family as well. I'll never forget the kindness shown. Please keep the prayers coming for the days to come.

Easton's birth story continues

Well I thought the last post was the last of the birth part and more just trying to cope with my c section but was I so wrong. I am not yet ready to blog about what I just went through but in time I will. Mainly because there definitely needs to be more awareness because had the right people not been in the exact right place for me this story could very well be so different.
More to come soon....thanks for all the prayers!