I'm ok

    Is this what you hear when you ask your friend how they are doing? Seriously. This is our usual response on how we are doing. Even when we are not ok. But in our society we have to have it all together. Especially on social media. Wonder why so many people are committing suicide? Because everyone else seems to have it so much better and all together than they do. I just saw a video of a toddler crying for her daddy. Wanna know why she was crying? Because her daddy committed suicide! He left behind a loving wife and 2 beautiful kids and tons of family that loved him. So maybe it is time to put our phones down and slow down a bit and really ask our loved ones how they are doing! And when they say, " I'm ok" , then maybe we should say no REALLY how are you doing?


   Life is tough and sometimes just plain stinkin' hard. Then you have that crafty devil lurking around all the time. Boy, can that devil fill your head with so many lies. But just know you are so loved. Even when we don't feel loved there is a God who made us who loves us beyond what we can comprehend. After all he did send his only son to die to save US! And can I just tell you that it is ok to not be OK. ( I am talking to myself here.) And I think it is time when our friends and family ask us how we are doing that we ask for prayer for the things bringing us down. We are in this together.


  Remember death was arrested and we have grace so free! Don't let that devil fill your head with lies and don't let the things of this world bog you down because this is just our temporary home. And if you are struggling and do not know Jesus Christ I would love to talk with you. I cannot imagine one day on this earth without the Lord's help and my faith getting me through. Leave me a message and I will get in touch with you.


    

Combatting depression and anxiety (especially postpartum depression)

   I have never really dealt with very bad depression. I was always the one that said you don't need that medicine. You just gotta pray and read your bible more.(Clearly I did not get how depression is like a disease.) I always viewed those dealing with it as weak or just not giving their worries to Christ. I will admit I am a worrier and have anxiety about things. I do not like change or new things. That is possibly why I had ppd after this last birth. Nothing went like I had planned!

   Sometimes I think God gives us trials to actually understand what other people go through. So we can actually be an encouragement and actually be able to sympathize with what others have and will go through. I never truly understood how horrible something like postpartum depression could be until it was me going through it. How even little things seem huge. How everything drives you crazy and sometimes you just feel like you are going to jump out of your skin. How sometimes all you can do is pray and cry out to Jesus.

    I was VERY lucky in that my husband and some nurses( one very special labor and delivery nurse to be truthful) caught my ppd after I was put back in the hospital for postpartum preeclampsia. I was put on meds that I have always said I would never take. But these were crucial to my recovery. NEVER feel guilty for getting help. Your family and your kids need you. Did you hear me! NEVER feel guilty. Many have went through it before you and many will go through it after you. And from someone who is so super hard headed NEVER quit your depression meds cold turkey! You will feel like you have the flu and are quite possibly dying. (Don't ask me how I know, yikes!)

   But this blog post is supposed to be a post on combatting depression and anxiety. First and foremost figure out your triggers. My trigger is absolutely what all I went through in my last delivery. I will one day have to work through all of it but now is not the time. But if you know your triggers ahead of time you will know that you could possibly experience depression and anxiety when faced with that trigger.  Having a good book to read has been essential for me as well as a great bible study. Praise and worship music has been one that that has actually helped me through everything I have been through the past several months. Getting outside with my kids , getting vitamin D from the sun is an absolute. And last but not least having a war room . A room I can go to and storm heavens gates !!! A place I can cry, scream, praise the Lord. A place you can escape to when life just gets too much.

   I am completely off my meds. It has been better than I expected but as the days go by somethings are really starting to bother me and I just do not really want to face them. But I know with my family and God  I will get through this and be ok. Also having godly friends that can come along side you and encourage you and make sure you are ok is very important. If you have went through this you know how lonely it can feel sometimes. Again I will repeat if you ever have to go through this NEVER quit your meds cold turkey and also rely on the Lord . After all that is where our help comes from.

   
2 Corinthians 12:9 ⁹But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

                                                   It's the little things that get us through!

Update on baby and me!!!

  For those that read my blog you know all I went through with my last birth. Baby Easton is now 3 months old( I know, where did the time go!) and he is doing amazing. He is the absolute best baby ever and is such pure joy. He is everything I needed and so much more. I love watching all the new stuff he does but it also makes my heart ache as I know he will be grown all too soon. Having one son married, another engaged, and my oldest daughter already moving out I realize even more how fast it all goes. I am so thankful to God for the miracle of Easton. Everyone is so shocked when they see him and see how well he is doing.
 
  Well as for me, I am doing fairly well. I am completely off blood pressure meds and doing pretty good so far with that. I am hoping by losing weight it will continue to come back to where it used to be or at least close to that. I am starting to work on weaning off my anxiety meds which I see is not going to be as easy as I thought it was going to be. I have moved to every other day and on those days I go back thinking about all I just went through and the sadness of my failed last homebirth. And then the realization of no more babies hits very hard as well. But with God's help and my awesome family I am confident I will be able to work through it all. My postpartum depression is ok but I am still on my depression meds which I will be trying to wean off of as soon as I am off the anxiety meds. This is all new and crazy to me. Anyone that knows me knows I hate taking meds and struggle just having to take my thyroid meds. Prayers are still appreciated!


 But some happy news!! My husband and I went away last weekend and while it was hard to be away from the kiddos it was much needed for him and I . We needed to reconnect. So much has happened in the past year. My husband is my rock!!! He is steadfast and faithful and for that I am so thankful. God is also doing big things in our family. He has been moving and I cannot wait to see what He has in store for us.


 Thanks to everyone who reads my blog and for the messages I get. Comment below and tell me what fun things you are going to do with your family this summer!! I always love new ideas.

Funschooling

 It's spring here in Georgia. Who wants to be cooped up in the house, especially doing school. I for one do not. I am trying to encorporate learning and fun. I want my kids to see how fun learning things can be. I also want them to see the beauty of everything the Lord has blessed us with.So, I decided each week for spring and summer( we school year around) we would do at least one field trip a week. It doesn't have to be a super big field trip and anything majorly thought out.

  Today we went to a military museum about 45 minutes from us. It was so neat to see the kids and also nice to talk with them about the reason we are free in this country is because others have sacrificed . While in the area we found a small park dedicated to the strongest man. Then on we went to a beautiful park. We saw a snake and was able to talk about how it was camouflaged and that is why it is important to pay attention to your surroundings.

  I am so thankful to get to homeschool. This is one of the million reasons I'm glad we can homeschool. School and learning doesn't have to be boring and stuffy. Leaving you with a few pics of our day.

Homeschool nature walk in pictures

We Need To Pray for Our Husbands

   So this morning I was looking for something to send to my husband to encourage him. He has been super tired. I think part of it is his health, work load, and responsibilities. (And a small part his hobby but he won't admit that.) But as I was looking for something to encourage him I noticed something. Everything I saw said encouragement for the tired mother or encouragement for the woman in today's society. Or something along those lines. What about our men. When did they start being forgotten. Was in when women wanted all the same "advantages" as men? When the women's rights movement started? When our culture started being told women can do everything a man can do? I am not sure when it is started but I believe it started to be the downfall for our family. We forgot about our men, their feelings, their place in our family. I have watched families , even those in the christian circles and the men are kind of forgotten. I do NOT want that to happen in my family. I do NOT believe women are intended to do what a man does. In certain circumstances a woman has to fill the role of both parents but in some instances there are dads that have to do the same.


   Ladies, we need to pray for our men. We need to build them up. The Lord is showing me I have been failing in that. Yes, I pray for my husband and try to encourage him but do I truly see how much encouragement he needs. If a male is truly filling the role in the family as God intended that is a lot of weight to carry. Our men were never meant to carry it alone. I do not dare wish I was in my husband's shoes! He has to be provider, protector, head of the house, daddy, husband, etc... I would not want the responsibilities he has. He owns his own business and has so many people to answer to and mind you many think he serves them only. My point is we have to step up as ladies and quit letting our men fall to the sidelines. I believe in the power of prayer. I have seen it time and time again in my own husband.


  Times are tough! Life is tough! While yes there is a tiredness to motherhood men will never understand and being a wife and mother is super stressful. Especially for me because I want everything perfect and everyone happy and I had to realize that is not always going to be the case. But I think instead of the war on women the media likes to portray in our culture there is a terrible war on men. Just watch t.v. ! It won't take long to see how men are portrayed. So ladies even if you are not married pray for our men because many are trying and are tired. Pray for your brothers, your fathers, your friends, and your future spouses. Ladies if you are married would you join me in storming the gates of heaven for our husbands! And to my own husband! I see you. I see you trying and pushing. Trying to provide everything for our family. Trying to be the leader of our home as God intended. And I am so so thankful for you! I am praying for you and am here for you whatever you need. You got this, babe!

Those hypocrite christians

   Okay so I've heard this many times before. I don't go to church or want to be a part of christianity because all I ever see is hypocrisy.  Let me fill you in on a secret. Christians are human. I know, crazy huh!?!

    This is the reason we NEED God. The past few years have been rough for my husband and I. And recently I've dealt with depression, anger, resentment, and probably every other feeling there is out there. Does that make me a hypocrite because I tell others to not worry, be slow to anger, quick to forgive,etc.? Absolutely not! It means my need for Jesus is that much more! It means I can reach out to others because I learn from my mistakes. The verses in the Bible are God's word and for christian and non christian. Jesus realized the need for direction even for believers.

    Our church plays a video often about different people asking different questions and such about church. One person makes the statement church is just filled with hypocrites. The answer? And there's room for one more. Let me tell you another secret. Ready? There has never been a perfect person on earth except for JESUS. SO, how about it? Those that have used that excuse time and time again. How about you come try our church or any church for that matter. At our church you will find imperfect people who absolutely love Jesus. When I take off that pressure of trying to be that perfect christian I find so much more pure joy in my Lord and Savior. And if someone wants to call me a hypocrite I am fine with that because through Jesus I am made perfect (even my hypocrisy;)  ).